Waiting

Waiting.  I'm pretty sure no one really likes to wait.  It is the source of frustration for most of us. It seems like life is one big "hurry up and wait" scenario.  We work hard to get to different places in our lives only to wait for the next thing.  Sometimes the waiting is just annoying.  Like when you are in the drive thru for 20 minutes at Starbucks and all you want is your Venti Iced Coffee.  Then there are other times when the wait can seem soul crushing.

There is one area for me that waiting is both annoying and soul crushing all at once.  This waiting to get married.  Now before any one begins to give me speeches on the values of waiting for the right person to marry, I KNOW THEM ALREADY.  :)  I give the same speech to people all the time.

I read an article recently, from a Christian perspective mind you, on the topic of singleness.  After I finished reading, I wanted to slap the author silly.  I know that sounds out of my character, but I was so upset by what she said.  She basically said that any female who is still single in her late 20's or early 30's it's their own fault.  She said that we as females got too busy trying to get ahead in our careers and never took our dating seriously enough.  That we could have been married by now if we had really wanted to.  Oh it makes me mad even now just thinking about it!  The truth of the matters is that she was SOOOO far off base!!!  I have never had a long line of men asking me out that I just turned down because I wanted to pursue my career.  Ridiculousness!!!!!  I never wanted a career.  I never wanted to work this long.  I wanted to be a stay at home mom and wife.  In all honesty, I'm single because there have been very few men who I would even consider dating. My standards aren't too high, but I do want a man who is passionate about Jesus.  Unfortunately, that is hard to come by.  Ask any of my single friends.  We will all tell you the same thing.  It is for a lack of single men, our age and Christian, that we are single.

The thing that ticks me off about how people view singleness is that we are told to stop wanting to get married.  Be happy in your singleness, they say.  You don't need a man.  All you need is Jesus.  And yes, I understand from where they are coming.  However, would you ever tell a woman who is waiting to find out if she is pregnant and desperately wants to have a baby that she doesn't need that baby?  Of course not.  Would you ever tell a couple who is waiting to bring their baby home from across the ocean to stop wanting that baby because all they need is Jesus?  Surely not.  Or perhaps would you say to the person waiting to find out the medical test results not to worry about it because they should find joy in all circumstances?  Most definitely not.  Why is it that we are so set on putting single people down for wanting to get married and go into a new phase in life?  Why are we so afraid to let them feel frustrated about the situation?

I realize that marriage does not fix problems.  I'm not saying that at all.  All I'm saying is that perhaps we should treat single people whose very souls are being crushed by the unfulfilled desire a little more gently.  Do you have any idea how hard it is to wait for something for well over a decade?  Give us a break.  Instead of saying, you only need Jesus; maybe give us a hug and say you are sorry that the wait has been so long and hard.  Maybe say a prayer for us to have the grace to deal with the loneliness that comes with being single.

I'm looking forward to the day when the wait will be over.

**Side note**  A little shout out to my friend W. L. whose wait ended today!  Congratulations on bringing your baby boy home from across the ocean!  Love you heaps!!!