Next steps...

I've started a process that is life altering.  About a year ago, God started working on my heart to step out and make some drastic changes in my life.  I did a lot of praying to make sure that I was actually hearing from God and not making it all up myself.  :)  This journey started with buying a house.  I began looking for a house last November.  It wasn't until April 15th that I was able to close on my home.  I didn't buy a house, though, just to have a house.  I bought it with intent.  Getting my own place was the first major step that had to happen in order for me to accomplish what God had planned for me.

For those of you who don't know, the reason I made such a huge purchase was so I could fill the house up with children.  God has placed it on my heart to become a foster parent.  This is not something I would have pursued without Divine direction.  I have always loved children.  Being like a mom is almost second nature to me.  You can ask my friends.  They will tell you that the "mom" side of me comes out frequently.  :)

This month, I began the process to become a foster parent.  I have turned in 2 of the 3 applications.  They have started my back ground check.  I have attended 15 hours of training already, as well as received my CPR/First Aid certification.  At this rate, I will be doing my home study some time next month.

I'm not going to lie.  I'm nervous.  It is huge to take in a child that isn't my own and help raise them for a time. I have asked myself if I'm ready to have my world altered.  Am I ready to have my social life go out the window?  Am I ready to put aside what I want to do for a child?  As crazy as it sounds, I think I am.  I know I will have many days where I wish I had the freedom to just get up and go and not have to worry about a child.  I know there will be evenings where I will be wanting to go out with my friends instead of staying home while the little one sleeps.  However, I believe that the sacrifices will be worth it.  Pouring love into a child and offering them security is more important than a social life.  Having a child here will be taxing on me in every way possible.  I have thought about every single aspect, and have decided that I will choose to believe that Scripture is true.  God equips those He calls.  If He has called me to be a mom to these children, then He will give me everything that I will need to do it.

Should something come up and the agency decide not to license me, I will trust that God will lead me in a new direction.  But for now, this is where I feel Him leading me; and this is the way I will go.  If you think about me, pray for me as I continue this journey.  I will need all the wisdom I can get.  :)

Planning... Good or Bad?

Life has been an interesting journey for me.  I have made plans only to have nothing turn out like I thought it would.  However, I keep planning things anyway.  You would think that I would stop trying to figure out how my life is going to go.

Then last night this thought popped into my head as I was trying to go to sleep.  "What if I was made to plan and organize things?  What if this is how God made me?"  The wheels continued to spin and process this line of thought.  God is a planner, very much so in fact.  From the very beginning in the Garden of Eden, He was planning.  He knew that we would need redemption.  He began to put into place the plan for our redemption.  Another thing He loves is order and structure.  He is very specific with His details.  Have you ever read the instructions on how He wanted the Temple built or how sacrifices were to be done?  Extremely detailed.  He is the only One I know who likes plans and details more than I do. :)

So maybe, just maybe, these aspects of myself aren't so bad after all.  I like to try to plan ahead so I can be prepared for the road in front of me.  I love details.  I enjoy knowing the who, what, when and where of things.  I feel lost with that information.  I do realize that I can't control everything, and even with the best plans things still might not turn out how I wish.

Thinking that this side of myself might be one of the many aspects of my God is kind of cool.  It brings a smile to my face.  After all, I am made in His image.  So it shouldn't be surprising that I would try to imitate Him.  Don't most children try to imitate their parents or those around them?  I'm His child and I want to desperately be like Him.

I do realize that I can't control all aspects of my life.  There are times I need to let go of the reigns and let Him lead me.  This desire to plan ahead can be good and bad.  I must remember to keep myself in check and submit to His will first and foremost.  I'm learning it is okay to plan ahead as long as I check with God first, seeing as He knows me better than I know myself.