I have had many people ask where I am in the adoption process. This is such a complicated answer. Unfortunately, it isn't really a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, etc step process. It is more like oh #5 is done. Now, we did #3. Let's do #2. You get the picture. As we get closer, there are definitely certain steps that have to be done in a specific order. We just aren't there yet. As of right now, these are the things we have already accomplished.
She has been in my home 6 months.
My agency has updated my home study.
I have contacted a lawyer.
The mandatory waiting period is over!!!!!!!!
We are waiting on CPS to send my agency the order of termination. They also need to retrieve the original birth certificate and social security number. Little One's file needs to be copied and any information that I should not have needs to be redacted. We are in the midst of being transferred to another case worker who has done adoptions before. At this point in time, I think September would be the earliest we could get the adoption finalized. It may be October. It will all depend on how motivated the new case worker is to get things done.
You may be wondering what is next for me after the adoption. Or may be it hasn't crossed your mind at all. For the sake of the blog, I am going to pretend you are interested. :)
There are a few options actually. #1 Keep fostering other children. #2 Go on hold for a bit. This would mean keeping my license up to date, but not actually taking any placements. #3 Close my home altogether. Once I realized that Little One was going to be mine forever, I began praying and contemplating all 3 options very seriously. There are pros and cons to each one. The option I was leaning towards the most was #2. This would allow me to have some down time, just me and my baby. However, it would allow me the flexibility to begin taking other children in whenever I am ready. The biggest reason why I like this idea is because it keeps me available should my other girls need a foster home again. The con is that as long as I have a license I am still expected to have all my fire/environmental inspections up to date. I have to submit to any random state inspection. My life still isn't really my own.
Making this decision wasn't easy. I had dreams for days after I made up my mind. I wrestled with what I felt like God was telling me to do. I wanted to be very confident that I was doing what God asked of me. I wanted to be obedient. I believe God is wanting me to do #3, close my home. In many ways, this brings great freedom! I will no longer be under the ever watchful eye of the foster care system. I will be able to use the babysitter of my choosing without asking them to submit themselves to finger printing and a FBI background check. I will have my life back, plus an adorable baby.
The down side though.... It weighs heavily on me. It so much feels like I would be turning my back on my other girls. I would not be called if they came back into the system. I might not even know if they did. More than that, there is a desperate need for foster parents right now. I dreamed about children needing homes for days. I felt guilty for wanting to close my home. I wondered if I was really hearing God. But I have a peace deep in my soul. I know this is what I am supposed to do. There is a season for everything. My season as a single foster mom is coming to a close. This doesn't mean I can't go back to being a foster parent later. I can and might, if God leads me that way.
Since I will soon be exiting the foster care world, maybe I can challenge you to take the leap of faith and enter it yourself? I know I haven't spoken highly of the system. But the children though, they are worth it. I have been changed by them all. I have found myself capable of loving more deeply than I ever thought possible. My prayer life has been taken to another level. I see the world differently. Even though the last few years have been beyond difficult, I wouldn't trade them for anything. I can't imagine my life without B, Z, Big N, Little N, Baby Cakes, and Brown Eyes. They made me a better mom. I miss them all so much. If you have thought about becoming a foster parent and have questions, please contact me. I will do my best to answer them. I want there to be more homes available than there are children.
