Wow! So much has happened in the last two weeks! I am still trying to process it all. Last week was super emotional. I received Little One's CPS file. There wasn't a bunch of new information. However, I did learn some about her biological family history. It will definitely be helpful later. The emotions in me were high though. It took several days for me to realize why I was so sad. Then it hit me that I was grieving. Grieving the loss my Little One had already experienced. Grieving for the bio family that will never know this amazing little girl. Grieving for the bio mom who chose life but was unable to take care of the baby. My heart was heavy. It led me to pray for the bio family. I hope and pray that they will come to have a personal relationship with Jesus.
Then Sunday came. Some friends gave me and Little One a beautiful baby shower! I was beyond blessed by those who came. My heart was bursting! I have been on this journey for so long. Many times, I felt alone. I often wondered if people thought I was crazy. I didn't know how many people were cheering me on from the sidelines. I am thankful for the friends and family that have believed in me and prayed for me. This shower was a celebration of a dream come true! It sparked in me joy and excitement for the upcoming adoption.
Wednesday, adoption day, started super early for me with a 5 AM wake up call! I had all this nervous energy inside of me. I kept repeating what I needed to do to keep myself focused. I didn't want to be late to the courthouse. We had to be there at 8 AM, and it was in Dallas. Which, if you know where I live, you know that this is the beginning of traffic time. Even with a little traffic and taking some back roads, we made it with a few minutes to spare.
My lawyer (who gave us the 8 AM arrival time) didn't show up until 8:35. Babies don't do well when they have to be contained for long periods of time. They want to crawl and play. I had a couple of friends come to the courthouse that morning, and some of them had children. They all did really great considering the circumstances. Anyway, the lawyer went over some paperwork with me. I was kicking my myself afterwards. I wish I had someone taking pics of me signing the adoption papers! Note to anyone about to adopt: take pictures of every little thing! It goes so fast!
When we finally made it before the judge, the lawyer asked me some questions. I was good for most of them.... That is until he asked me "And today you are requesting the courts to change her name to Violet Dawn Sweet?" Cue the waterworks. My not so pretty cry face popped up. My voice cracked as I responded with "Yes". I'm not sure what all was asked of me. I said yes to everything as I cried. (Sorry internet. No pictures of me crying) It was literally all over in 3 minutes. That was all it took for her to become mine! Craziness! It was so solemn and quiet. There was no clapping or cheering at the end. It was "ok next case". So rushed. Then we go back into the hallway to wait some more for the lawyer. I had to get my copy of the court report so I have documentation that she is mine until the birth certificate comes in the mail.
My dad cried during the court proceedings. He loves my baby so. My mom said she felt that morning like she was going to the hospital to witness the birth of a grandchild. Well, it may not have been a physical birth; but it was definitely the beginning of a new family. I love how much my family loves my baby. It blesses my heart so.
Now, she is my legal daughter forever and ever. No more wondering if she is going to leave. I kept saying over and over yesterday "I don't have to say goodbye to her. She isn't going to leave." As a foster parent, the fear of a child leaving that you don't want to leave is very real. But that isn't going to happen with her. I get to be her mommy. She gets to be my baby. And what joy that brings my heart!!! This huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My heart is happy!
Thank you all for walking this journey with me! Thank you for your love and support! I will continue to blog. There are still things on my heart to share. I am thankful that God has entrusted me with the most amazing gift ever! I love being her mom!
Thursday, October 29, 2015
Thursday, October 15, 2015
The News We've All Been Waiting For
Remember how I posted earlier this month that we finally had some momentum on the adoption process? Well, I am not sure what happened. I got a text message from my case manager at my agency asking me a question. The next thing I know things were out of control. Information was flying. Dates were being talked about. It was a whirlwind. I didn't know what to think.
It all started with my case manager asking me if I could do the adoption presentation next Friday, the 23rd. I was like yes of course! This is a giant step! This is were they (CPS) formally ask me if I want to adopt Little One. I will be given her CPS file next week. They want me to read it all before making a decision. I'm sure that there is nothing in there that would make me change my mind. However, it is part of the process. After they ask me if I want to adopt her, I have to wait 24 hours to give an answer. I have had her over 9 months. I have 100% peace about adopting her. She is mine! :)
After we set up the adoption presentation, I called my lawyer to give them this information. They then said ok let's set the adoption date! Since this is a Dallas County case, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are when they do adoptions. They said the soonest we could do it was Wednesday, October 28. I stopped breathing for a second. That is soooo soon! The next available day was November 4. I looked at my work calendar. That would not be a good day for me to either take a half day or a whole day off. So October 28 it is! Wednesday, October 28, 2015 Little One will become a Sweet!! Typing that sentence made me cry. What a beautiful sentence! October will become my favorite month!
So get this. The court house where the adoption is happening is the same exact place where a year and a half ago I was told my two precious girls were going back to bio mom. That I wasn't going to get to adopt them. I was crushed. I was sobbing uncontrollably that day. My dream for them, for us, was crushed. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to adopt any child. It seemed so hopeless. But God is redeeming that place and that time. For in that same building, I will adopt a beautiful baby girl who has forever changed my life. As much as I miss those two girls and still wish that they were in my life, I know that if I adopted them, I would never have met Little One.
There is a little bit of nervousness about the future. Mainly how in the world am I going to afford daycare? Seriously, it is crazy expensive! God told me He has a plan. So I am trusting Him to provide however He sees fit. I do hope He fills me in on the plan soon though. Because in 2 weeks I am adopting!!!!!!!!!!!! Party time people!!!
It all started with my case manager asking me if I could do the adoption presentation next Friday, the 23rd. I was like yes of course! This is a giant step! This is were they (CPS) formally ask me if I want to adopt Little One. I will be given her CPS file next week. They want me to read it all before making a decision. I'm sure that there is nothing in there that would make me change my mind. However, it is part of the process. After they ask me if I want to adopt her, I have to wait 24 hours to give an answer. I have had her over 9 months. I have 100% peace about adopting her. She is mine! :)
After we set up the adoption presentation, I called my lawyer to give them this information. They then said ok let's set the adoption date! Since this is a Dallas County case, Tuesdays and Wednesdays are when they do adoptions. They said the soonest we could do it was Wednesday, October 28. I stopped breathing for a second. That is soooo soon! The next available day was November 4. I looked at my work calendar. That would not be a good day for me to either take a half day or a whole day off. So October 28 it is! Wednesday, October 28, 2015 Little One will become a Sweet!! Typing that sentence made me cry. What a beautiful sentence! October will become my favorite month!
So get this. The court house where the adoption is happening is the same exact place where a year and a half ago I was told my two precious girls were going back to bio mom. That I wasn't going to get to adopt them. I was crushed. I was sobbing uncontrollably that day. My dream for them, for us, was crushed. I wasn't sure if I would ever get to adopt any child. It seemed so hopeless. But God is redeeming that place and that time. For in that same building, I will adopt a beautiful baby girl who has forever changed my life. As much as I miss those two girls and still wish that they were in my life, I know that if I adopted them, I would never have met Little One.
There is a little bit of nervousness about the future. Mainly how in the world am I going to afford daycare? Seriously, it is crazy expensive! God told me He has a plan. So I am trusting Him to provide however He sees fit. I do hope He fills me in on the plan soon though. Because in 2 weeks I am adopting!!!!!!!!!!!! Party time people!!!
Friday, October 9, 2015
What's In A Name?
When a child is born, usually the parents take a lot of time to figure out the perfect name for their baby. I've heard stories from my friends of some arguments over picking a name, making lists, and many a veto from the spouse before coming to an agreement. When you adopt, you are given an option to rename your child. Some choose to keep the name and others may change it altogether. Occasionally, the adoptive parent might pick a part of the original name to keep in honor of the bio family. I went back and forth over what to do. I really liked the middle name her bio mom gave her. I also knew it was a biological family name. I was seriously considering using it. However, one day in prayer, long before I knew she would be mine, I heard God say not to keep any part of her original name. She needed no ties to her past. It was very clear. I was like Ok then, I will find another middle name. (This was just for me. I am in no way saying that other families shouldn't keep part of the original name.)
I thought about it and prayed about it. I wanted a name that I loved and had either a great meaning or beautiful imagery to it. I've had a list of names that I've loved for years. A couple of my favorite names I didn't feel like I could use because I had already designated them to my two girls that I thought I would get to adopt. Those names belonged to them. I couldn't use them for anyone else. That ruled out the names Jane Maree and Desiree Anne. I didn't want to use any names that were my siblings or niece and nephews. That omitted quite a few right there. :) I kept coming back to this one name. I just loved it! It didn't have a super special meaning. It was simply beautiful. I wanted to combine it with a name that did have some sort of significance. I prayed about it. I tried it out on her a few times. It seemed to fit her.
So her new name will be...............
VIOLET DAWN SWEET
Isn't a beautiful name? I LOVE it!!! As I looked into the name Violet, I discovered a few interesting things. In Europe during the 1600's, the violet flower was considered to be the flower of modesty because the petals hide its insides. I really liked that. I want my daughter to grow up to be modest in a world filled with exploitation. This flower is also known to represent spring time. When the violet blooms, it is a sign that the seasons have changed. Now, that is some powerful imagery right there!! The adoption will be the beginning of a new season for her life. The old is gone! The new has come! Now, Dawn has an obvious meaning. It is the start of a new day. (Sensing a theme yet?) We will have a fresh start with this adoption. She will have the opportunity to live a different life than her bio family's. So when I call out "Violet Dawn", I am speaking over her a chance for fresh start.
God had blessed me greatly with this beautiful little girl! I wish I could post a picture of her! However, I can't until the adoption is finalized.
I will still probably refer to her as Little One on social media until the adoption is completed. If you happen to run into us somewhere, feel free to call her Violet. She knows that is her name. She will also answer to "baby". Guess I call her that frequently too. lol
Thank you all for being part of my journey. It isn't over yet. I am curious to see what happens next.
I thought about it and prayed about it. I wanted a name that I loved and had either a great meaning or beautiful imagery to it. I've had a list of names that I've loved for years. A couple of my favorite names I didn't feel like I could use because I had already designated them to my two girls that I thought I would get to adopt. Those names belonged to them. I couldn't use them for anyone else. That ruled out the names Jane Maree and Desiree Anne. I didn't want to use any names that were my siblings or niece and nephews. That omitted quite a few right there. :) I kept coming back to this one name. I just loved it! It didn't have a super special meaning. It was simply beautiful. I wanted to combine it with a name that did have some sort of significance. I prayed about it. I tried it out on her a few times. It seemed to fit her.
So her new name will be...............
VIOLET DAWN SWEET
Isn't a beautiful name? I LOVE it!!! As I looked into the name Violet, I discovered a few interesting things. In Europe during the 1600's, the violet flower was considered to be the flower of modesty because the petals hide its insides. I really liked that. I want my daughter to grow up to be modest in a world filled with exploitation. This flower is also known to represent spring time. When the violet blooms, it is a sign that the seasons have changed. Now, that is some powerful imagery right there!! The adoption will be the beginning of a new season for her life. The old is gone! The new has come! Now, Dawn has an obvious meaning. It is the start of a new day. (Sensing a theme yet?) We will have a fresh start with this adoption. She will have the opportunity to live a different life than her bio family's. So when I call out "Violet Dawn", I am speaking over her a chance for fresh start.
God had blessed me greatly with this beautiful little girl! I wish I could post a picture of her! However, I can't until the adoption is finalized.
I will still probably refer to her as Little One on social media until the adoption is completed. If you happen to run into us somewhere, feel free to call her Violet. She knows that is her name. She will also answer to "baby". Guess I call her that frequently too. lol
Thank you all for being part of my journey. It isn't over yet. I am curious to see what happens next.
Tuesday, October 6, 2015
A Mini Adoption update
Over the weekend, I was praying and talking to God about this crazy adoption process. It was more venting and complaining then anything else. I heard the Holy Spirit whisper to me that I wasn't really praying about the situation, I was complaining. This convicted me to the core. I began to seriously pray and ask God to move on our behalf, that things would begin to happen and fall into place. I did some spiritual warfare. After a few minutes, I felt a peace settle in my heart.
Our case has been at a stand still for a while. I've been so frustrated and disappointed! I had every reason to hope and believe that Little One would be legally mine by now. Yesterday, I got a call from the GAL. She was frustrated too. Apparently, our case, as well as several others, fell through the cracks. To get things going, she had to go over several people's head at CPS all the way to the Program Director. (I didn't even know this title existed!) We discussed several things. At the end of the call she told me she is going to push them to have our case finalized by the end of November! However, she doesn't anticipate it actually happening this quickly. She just wants them to have a fire under them. This gives me a glimmer of hope that Little One might be a Sweet by the end of the year!
I am trying to remember if I mentioned the delay on retrieving the birth certificate. Did I tell you that? Anyway, I had been told that Texas was behind in getting original birth certificates for adoption by 3-6 months. I was anticipating that we would probably be into next year before we finalized everything due to this complication. Then today I had an email in my inbox from my CASA worker telling me that CPS has Little One's original birth certificate!!!!! Hallelujah! Now, they can get her SSN and be one step closer to getting her case closed altogether.
I still am not sure when we will have our adoption court date. It would be so wonderful if it happened before her first birthday in December. However, I know it will happen at some point in time. :) I've learned though that it is fine to talk to God about how I am feeling, but when it comes down to it I need to be more intentional with my prayer life. God can and will move on our behalf. I've seen that first hand this week. I am so thankful that God heard my prayers and things are happening!
Our case has been at a stand still for a while. I've been so frustrated and disappointed! I had every reason to hope and believe that Little One would be legally mine by now. Yesterday, I got a call from the GAL. She was frustrated too. Apparently, our case, as well as several others, fell through the cracks. To get things going, she had to go over several people's head at CPS all the way to the Program Director. (I didn't even know this title existed!) We discussed several things. At the end of the call she told me she is going to push them to have our case finalized by the end of November! However, she doesn't anticipate it actually happening this quickly. She just wants them to have a fire under them. This gives me a glimmer of hope that Little One might be a Sweet by the end of the year!
I am trying to remember if I mentioned the delay on retrieving the birth certificate. Did I tell you that? Anyway, I had been told that Texas was behind in getting original birth certificates for adoption by 3-6 months. I was anticipating that we would probably be into next year before we finalized everything due to this complication. Then today I had an email in my inbox from my CASA worker telling me that CPS has Little One's original birth certificate!!!!! Hallelujah! Now, they can get her SSN and be one step closer to getting her case closed altogether.
I still am not sure when we will have our adoption court date. It would be so wonderful if it happened before her first birthday in December. However, I know it will happen at some point in time. :) I've learned though that it is fine to talk to God about how I am feeling, but when it comes down to it I need to be more intentional with my prayer life. God can and will move on our behalf. I've seen that first hand this week. I am so thankful that God heard my prayers and things are happening!
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