Eyes Wide Open

There is a line from the song Come Alive in the Greatest Showman that says, "And you know you can't go back again to the world that you were living in. Cause you're dreaming with your eyes wide open." That is how I feel about the foster care world. My eyes are open. There is no going back. But not all that we see in this world is a good dream. A lot of it is more like a nightmare.

When I signed up to become a foster parent, I didn't know how much it would change me. More than that, I didn't realize how much it would affect those in my life. You see, my entering this world opened the eyes of those around me. There was no going back for them either. To become a foster parent you are required to take many hours of training. There were classes that I thought they were exaggerating the difficulties of the kids that come into care. Turns out, if anything, it was slightly sugar coated.

After I was licensed it took a couple of months for me to get my first placement. When I got that first phone call and heard a snippet of their story, it was the beginning of my world forever changing. Then these two beautiful little girls arrived in my home. I can say honestly, they wrecked me. They changed me. They opened my eyes to a world that I didn't know. There was no going back to my life before fostering.

I saw pain, insecurity, fear, and anger in such little ones. Over time though, I saw something beautiful begin to happen. Trust, healing, joy, and love began to bloom in their lives. It wasn't easy. It was a hard fight. When they left, my heart was broken like it had never been broken before. I love those girls to this day. Even with the rocky road, I knew I couldn't stop.

And I didn't. I kept fostering for several years. Even after I adopted my beautiful daughter and closed my home, I knew there was no way I could live in my old life. My eyes were opened. My life would forever be world of foster and adoption. (I did re-open my home when her brother came on the scene, and am currently a licensed foster parent. I plan on closing my home after his adoption.)

These children are coming from nightmare experiences. And we gladly take them in. We love them. We show them Jesus. We show them what family is. We take on their pain. We let them express their anger and frustration. We take the literal and metaphorical hits. We see beyond the behavior to the need. Once you have lived in this world, it changes you. Your world view shifts. Your perspective on almost everything is different. You can't go back. There is no going back.

I have seen miracles happen in this realm too. Children who have never known love begin to blossom. Those who were starved begin to grow and get strong. The ones afraid of the words "I love you" begin to say them from their heart. You see, their world changes too. Their eyes are opened to the reality that family can be safe and healthy. They hear about Jesus and His redemptive power. They discover that they have worth and value. It is beautiful.

If you want your world wrecked, foster. You will never be the same. Let your eyes be opened.