Wow! So much has happened in the last two weeks! I am still trying to process it all. Last week was super emotional. I received Little One's CPS file. There wasn't a bunch of new information. However, I did learn some about her biological family history. It will definitely be helpful later. The emotions in me were high though. It took several days for me to realize why I was so sad. Then it hit me that I was grieving. Grieving the loss my Little One had already experienced. Grieving for the bio family that will never know this amazing little girl. Grieving for the bio mom who chose life but was unable to take care of the baby. My heart was heavy. It led me to pray for the bio family. I hope and pray that they will come to have a personal relationship with Jesus.
Then Sunday came. Some friends gave me and Little One a beautiful baby shower! I was beyond blessed by those who came. My heart was bursting! I have been on this journey for so long. Many times, I felt alone. I often wondered if people thought I was crazy. I didn't know how many people were cheering me on from the sidelines. I am thankful for the friends and family that have believed in me and prayed for me. This shower was a celebration of a dream come true! It sparked in me joy and excitement for the upcoming adoption.
Wednesday, adoption day, started super early for me with a 5 AM wake up call! I had all this nervous energy inside of me. I kept repeating what I needed to do to keep myself focused. I didn't want to be late to the courthouse. We had to be there at 8 AM, and it was in Dallas. Which, if you know where I live, you know that this is the beginning of traffic time. Even with a little traffic and taking some back roads, we made it with a few minutes to spare.
My lawyer (who gave us the 8 AM arrival time) didn't show up until 8:35. Babies don't do well when they have to be contained for long periods of time. They want to crawl and play. I had a couple of friends come to the courthouse that morning, and some of them had children. They all did really great considering the circumstances. Anyway, the lawyer went over some paperwork with me. I was kicking my myself afterwards. I wish I had someone taking pics of me signing the adoption papers! Note to anyone about to adopt: take pictures of every little thing! It goes so fast!
When we finally made it before the judge, the lawyer asked me some questions. I was good for most of them.... That is until he asked me "And today you are requesting the courts to change her name to Violet Dawn Sweet?" Cue the waterworks. My not so pretty cry face popped up. My voice cracked as I responded with "Yes". I'm not sure what all was asked of me. I said yes to everything as I cried. (Sorry internet. No pictures of me crying) It was literally all over in 3 minutes. That was all it took for her to become mine! Craziness! It was so solemn and quiet. There was no clapping or cheering at the end. It was "ok next case". So rushed. Then we go back into the hallway to wait some more for the lawyer. I had to get my copy of the court report so I have documentation that she is mine until the birth certificate comes in the mail.
My dad cried during the court proceedings. He loves my baby so. My mom said she felt that morning like she was going to the hospital to witness the birth of a grandchild. Well, it may not have been a physical birth; but it was definitely the beginning of a new family. I love how much my family loves my baby. It blesses my heart so.
Now, she is my legal daughter forever and ever. No more wondering if she is going to leave. I kept saying over and over yesterday "I don't have to say goodbye to her. She isn't going to leave." As a foster parent, the fear of a child leaving that you don't want to leave is very real. But that isn't going to happen with her. I get to be her mommy. She gets to be my baby. And what joy that brings my heart!!! This huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders. My heart is happy!
Thank you all for walking this journey with me! Thank you for your love and support! I will continue to blog. There are still things on my heart to share. I am thankful that God has entrusted me with the most amazing gift ever! I love being her mom!
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