So You Want To Be A Single Foster Parent (or adoptive parent)

When I was in the process of becoming a foster parent, I searched high and low for books about it from a single person's perspective.  You know how many I found?  None.  Zero. I have often thought about writing a book with the above title, but I'm not sure I have enough to say to fill a whole book.  Maybe I will in a year or two.  :)  However, I do think I have a blog or three I could share on the topic.

There are several things that I have learned in the last year that I wish I had known before I became a single foster parent.  I probably would have still done it because it is what God asked of me, but I would have been going  into it a little more prepared.

So maybe you are reading this blog and wondering what you would be getting into if you decided to do it as a single person.  Let me ask you a question. How many sick days and or vacation days do you have?  Why is that important?  Your child may not come to you in perfect health.  You may find yourself taking more days off than you expected.  Since you are on your own, you are more than likely going to be taking advantage of a daycare.  If they get sick, they can't be at daycare.  And I can't tell you the number of phone calls I've received at work saying I had a sick child.  On top of that, doctors will tell you that the first one to two years a child is in a daycare they will be sick up to 50% of the time!!  Of course that could range from a constant runny nose to Strep throat.  There is a good chance you will be using your sick days and possibly your vacation time, not on yourself, but on your sick child.  Then what will you do if you run out of paid time off?  Can you afford to miss 5+ days of work a month without pay?  True, you might get a child that never gets sick.  Count yourself blessed!  However, more than likely, your child will get sick.  It is just a matter of how frequently.

I've missed more work the last 6 months than I would like to admit to.  It has cost me a lot.  I had no idea that I would miss so many days.  Fortunately, I have employers that are willing to work with me.  I know I'm blessed in that aspect for sure.  If your job isn't flexible, there is a good chance you could lose your job if you end up having to miss work often.  Maybe you should begin looking for back up child care for when you have a sick kid if you can't take off of work.  Crunch the numbers.  How much can you live off of each month if your hours are cut?  I had no idea going into this that I would miss as much work as I have.  It is one of the many things I wish I had known going into this.