I've been a mom now a little over a year. Wow, a year?!?! Time flies. What a year it has been. I've learned sooo much, and yet I feel like I will never know all I need to know.
Today was in many ways, a typical Saturday. We had our ups and downs. However, as they went to bed; I had such a peace in my heart, such a joy. I love being their mom. They bring me joy and frustration. They have been with me 6 months now. Their personalities are continually blossoming. I'm seeing new sides to them all the time. Just when I think I've got them figured out, they will say or do something that surprises me.
In some ways, I feel like I haven't screwed up as much with them as I did with the first set of girls. Unfortunately, someone has to be first. I went to a conference to learn more about being a foster parent a couple of weeks after my first foster daughters went home. There was one session that I attended that had me bawling my eyes out. I saw how many errors I had made with one of my girls. I didn't respond to certain situations properly. It was an eye opening class, but it ripped my heart apart. All I could think was "I totally screwed up my little girl". So many people would say that I did the best I could and not to worry about it. However, I feel like I need to continually strive to do better. With our jobs doing our best is not always good enough. If you mess up and it was your best, it could still cost you your job. As a mom, I know I will make mistakes; but I want to keep the damages down to a minimum.
I'm learning as a mom how to give correction that will be received by them on their level. Each child responds differently to discipline. One thing I'm doing is making sure that I tell them that I love them after every correction. I never want my girls to think that their behavior would change my love for them.
Even though I'm doing some things better, I have much to learn. But that is ok. Being a parent is a marathon, not a sprint.
To all the mothers out there, as you celebrate being a Mom, give yourself a break. Don't beat yourself up for not being perfect. Keep pressing forward. The most important thing I've learned is to love 100%. Love those babies who wake you up every few hours, who poop on your floors, who eat you out of house and home, who bite and hit other kids, who yell at you that they don't love you any more because they just got in trouble, who give wet kisses, who talk to every passing stranger. What am I saying? Your a mom. Moms love without hesitation. You know to love with all your heart. Maybe I should say, Moms go ahead and let your family pamper you tomorrow. Allow yourself to relax. You deserve it. You work too hard as it is.
To the single moms out there... You probably bought your own gift and will have to cook all the meals tomorrow. You might not even get to put on your make up before going to church. Your little ones may be too young to know anything about making you a card. However, you are not forgotten. You are stronger than you think. You are doing a better job than you think. You are loved more than you know.
I was asked recently why I became a single foster parent. As soon as I mentioned God, they rolled their eyes. In all honestly, I wouldn't be doing this if it weren't for God. This is the hardest job in the world. And yet....
I love being a mom. :) Happy Mother's Day to all the amazing moms out there!!!
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